Bedtime

Zander has never slept in a crib. I just realized that. When he was a tiny newborn, he slept in a bassinet right by our bed. But after that we had his crib set up side by side with our bed, with one side of rails gone. So basically his crib was just a continuation of our bed. And he often ended up making his way onto our bed and sleeping between Curtis and me. One morning Curtis woke to find Zander hogging my side of the bed and I was curled up in a ball in Zander's crib part. Don't know how that happened.

Then he slept on just a mattress on the floor in his own room. He liked having his own "bed" and sleeping in his own room, so that transition was pretty smooth. Now he is 16 months old and has an actual toddler bed and loves it.

I never thought I would do it this way. I received lots of advice over the years from professors at school, friends, and family that you had to let your baby learn to sleep by "crying it out." This was always my plan. I still don't think it's a bad plan, and will probably do this with my next child(ren), because I won't have as much time to devote to bedtime when I have more than one child. But I don't regret the way we've done bedtime with Zander.

As it is, if he wakes up during the night, he comes into our room and finds us. There's something so sweet about waking up to a tiny hand grabbing yours and a tiny voice saying, "Mama." There's something hilarious about waking up to the noise of a toy vacuum and getting out of bed to find half-asleep little Goose pushing around his vacuum and then he starts crying when he realizes he's tired and not in bed anymore.

But the best part is the snuggles when he goes to sleep. We go to his room and say prayers, read a book or two, and then he drinks his almond milk while I sing "Baby Mine." I usually stay with him until he falls asleep. Sometimes this takes 5 minutes. Sometimes it takes a half hour. While I sometimes wish I didn't have to put in that time every nap and bedtime, I'm so grateful for those moments! That's where Zander learned to eskimo kiss, where he sometimes wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me so close we're cheek to cheek and he falls asleep like that. It's where we get a chance, everyday, for just the two of us to look at each other. (If you know Zander, he is a busy boy. He rarely holds still long enough for this to really happen otherwise.) We get to snuggle while I tell him how wonderful I think he is and how much I love him. Today's happy: Bedtime with Zander.



And this one's just funny. Goofy kid.

So Halloween IS fun!

I remember thinking Halloween was pretty fun as a kid, but it was never my favorite. I had fun dressing up and getting candy when I was little, but as a teenager, Halloween was more awkward. I never knew what to do on Halloween night, if I should dress up, what I should dress up as, etc.

But as a mom, Halloween is FUN!!! I can't wait to take Zander around trick-or-treating! Even if we do only hit 3 or 4 doors, as I anticipate. Still fun to dress up and take pictures. And Curtis and I have started our annual tradition of watching the entire Harry Potter series. (We've watched the first half of the first one...we've got a long way to go before Halloween.) Plus soon we will carve our pumpkins! We had so much fun going to the pumpkin patch on Monday to pick out our pumpkins...

 Big boy almost walking all by himself!

Have a Happy Halloween!!

Budget Living: Who Needs Cooking Spray?

So Curtis and I pride ourselves on staying completely within budget... most months. And our trick to doing so is cash. All of our spending we do with cash only. We pay most of our bills online, but spending we do with cash.

I spend $50 a week on groceries. I go to the grocery store with only a 50 dollar bill, so I have no choice but to stay under budget. I always make a list first, of the dinners I plan to make for the week, the things I need to buy, and the things I want to buy if I have enough money for them. As I shop, I am adding everything up in my head the entire time, and often go put things back when I realize I'm out of money for essentials like bread and milk.

The other week I did my weekly grocery shopping and, like always, was just under the week's grocery budget. I went home and put everything away and got started on dinner. But then I realized we were out of jam! I didn't realize it before so it didn't make the list and therefore didn't buy any. We really couldn't live without jam because PB&Js are about the only food Curtis will make for himself when I'm not around and he eats them quite frequently. So I looked through what I bought and decided what we could live without: cooking spray.

So the next day Zander and I made the trip back to the store with our receipt and our cooking spray. We made the return and walked down the isle with the $2.75 we got back. We found the absolute cheapest strawberry jam, which was on sale for $2.49. Thank goodness! So we had our jam for the week, and since then we've been able to buy our cooking spray. :)
I guess that's essentially what budget living is: deciding what is the priority and only buying what you need.


A little side story... I like raspberry jam and Curtis likes strawberry jam. Since we've been married I always just buy strawberry jam because I know that's his favorite. The other day Curtis turned to me and said, "You know how I know that you love me? Because you always buy strawberry jam."

Busy busy

Life has gotten pretty busy at the Jensen home. After a nice, slow summer (I didn't work at all this summer!), my time and home has filled with children. I run a small daycare so we always have a few extras running around our tiny apartment. It's been fun and interesting to see how Zander interacts with the bigger kiddos. He usually likes them. =)

Curtis has gotten busier than ever. He has started his LAST YEAR at UVU. So while taking 17 credits, he's also working 30 hours a week at 1800 Contacts. He loves his job and loves his classes so that makes the busy bearable. But it brings him home later in the day and even when he is home he is doing homework. I'm just so grateful I married such a hard worker. This should be our last year living the student life and we keep telling ourselves we can get through anything if it's just for 8 months. So we are very excited for him to graduate so we can "grow up."

In the meantime, it feels good to be busy.

Marriage has made me better

I realized something today that honestly made me so excited! (Yes I know,
"simple minds, simple pleasures") This morning Curtis and I were outside weeding some garden beds and got to talking about our families. We are lucky enough to live so close to almost all our immediate family members, keeping us pretty up to date with everybody.
Well Curtis was perceptive enough to notice a need a sibling had and made a suggestion for me, about how I could help. I was so glad to be able to help and so grateful Curtis clued me in. Then minutes later, I thought of and made a suggestion for him, for somebody else. He responded graciously, saying he hadn't thought of that. (I'm keeping this vague, I know.)
And I realized how blessed I am to have my sweet husband. We have such a happy, wonderful marriage. I truly am a better person because of Curtis. He makes me want to be better because he is so good and I want to deserve him. He makes me better because he loves me and helps me see my own potential. And he makes me better by lovingly giving suggestions as to how I can bless those around me. Hooray for marriage!

Yes, it is Mothers Day weekend, and I am so grateful for my incredible mama. But right now I'm grateful for my other half who helps me be the best mom I can be. Thanks for being so wonderful Curtis! I love you the most.
Today's happy: Curtis

Thoughts on my body

I've recently had this new insight..... Heavenly Father can truly combat any evil plan Satan may have. One of the devil's greatest tools is making women feel insecure, especially about their bodies. I know I'm not the only one who has had a hard time being okay with my body. I think it's safe to say that most, if not, all women have struggled with this.

But ever since I've had my baby I have been so okay with my body. This probably sounds strange since I've never been more heavy and out of shape (other than when I was pregnant). But I just have been able to realize how incredible my body is. I'm so blessed with such a healthy, capable body that has been able to create life!! What a miracle that truly is! And even still my body sustains his life since all that he eats my body provides for him. I'm so thankful for my body. What an amazing gift to have and to cherish. What a beautiful way to allow women to create. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said this to women at the October 2008 Relief Society session of general conference:

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before. Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment."

How wonderful and loving is a Heavenly Father that provides that ability to create and to do something wonderful so that we can be happy about ourselves and our bodies! I love Him for that. Today's happy: my body.

The Delivery: Not What We'd Planned.

My baby boy Zander was born November 28, 2011.
Throughout the entire pregnancy, I had planned to give birth naturally. I had prepared myself in many ways and was excited about the whole birth experience. I was happy to go through the "rite of passage" into motherhood. To me this involved labor, pushing, and perhaps rushing to the hospital.

I guess that's just how life is though. It almost never goes according to plan. At 36 weeks, my doctor told me everything looked good, baby was head down, see ya next week. At 37 weeks, we had an ultrasound that showed he was breech. His head was up high in my belly and his bum was down low. My doctor told me if he was still breech at 39 weeks, which he almost guaranteed he would be, he would have to deliver him c-section. I left that appointment totally shaken up. After having a near-perfect pregnancy and being so healthy my whole life, the idea of a c-section had never even entered my mind. It had always seemed like such a scary thing for a person to go through, and now I was faced with it. That day was rough, but by the next day I was really okay with it. I prayed, cried to Curtis, talked to my mom, and thought about it all day. And somehow I became very fine with it. We still tried several ways at home to try to turn him, but my baby was stubborn and wasn't going to budge.

So we scheduled his birthday. It seemed strange that I could choose which day it would be. The surgery would take place November 28 at noon. My doctor told me that once the scalpel was in his hand, he could have the baby out in 5 minutes. How amazing. And how terrifying.
November 28 was a Monday. I slept surprisingly well the night before, considering my life was about to change forever. That morning Curtis and I got ready like any other day, packed our last few things, got in the car, and drove to the hospital. We had to get there a couple hours early for some paperwork and so they could prep me for surgery. As we went about everything, I kept thinking "I can't believe this is really happening. I'm about to meet my son!" Curtis kept checking the clock and counting down the time until noon. We were getting more and more excited and I was getting more and more nervous.

A little before noon we walked to the operating room and they had me lie down on a table. I got my spinal, my catheter, my IV with fluids, and my oxygen mask. This part was all so embarrassing. There were so many people in the room. An anesthesiologist, a few nurses, two doctors, a med student, and of course Curtis. So many people able to see me just lying there, naked on the table. At this point I was terrified. I tried to be brave but I looked at Curtis and said "I don't want to do this anymore." I think he thought I was joking. I knew it was much too late for that, but I wasn't joking. But he just laughed and held my hand.
We waited for a few minutes for my doctor to arrive. I was surprised how happy I was to see him. I had been treated by strangers all day, and it just felt so good to see a familiar face. It also meant I was about to see my son.

And he wasn't lying; it only took about 5 minutes and my baby was out. I didn't get to see him, but I watched Curtis light up when he saw him. I heard him cry for the first time and I just started crying. That was my baby I could hear. The next 15 minutes dragged. I had to be stitched back up (all 7 layers they had cut through needed stitches.), and my baby had to be checked, cleaned, weighed and measured. (8 lb 3 oz, 21")I could hear Curtis saying "cute" over and over. He was so funny. He eventually came running over to me to show me pictures he had taken so I could see what he looked like. But then he ran back to take more pictures and I kept waiting. Finally Zander was all wrapped up and ready to see me. Curtis carried him over to me and the first time I touched him I kissed him on the head. He was so perfect. After a couple more minutes I was done and then I got to hold my baby. I couldn't believe how beautiful he was. I was so happy. He was finally here.
It still sounds weird to say that I had a baby. I feel like I can't say that because I didn't go through the typical labor and delivery. But I did have a baby. He just wanted to "come into the world backwards" as my doctor said it. And I am a mom! And loving every minute of it.
Today's happy: My baby boy Zander.